How can I be a better wife? This question has been pressing on my heart as of late. I want to not just be a good wife, but one that supports, loves, and encourages my husband in the way he needs. In a marriage it's so easy to believe that we are doing enough. We tell ourselves we are; we tell ourselves that I'm doing the best I can, giving it my all. But when you pause, look at the little moments, and truly think am I? sometimes you see a little room to give a little more.
How can I give a little more? How can I be a better wife? Big questions. With not just one good answer.
My words. "Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear." Ephesians 4:29 I truly believe there is great power in our words. We can build each other up or really tear one another down. And not just what we say but how we say it. We need to encourage our husbands with affirming words, kind words. Spoken in a tone that spews love. I support you. I love you. You do [blank] so well! Thank you for working so hard. Little sentences that mean a lot to our men. Let's not complain either. Complaining brings ourselves into a negative attitude and won't help him feel better about any situation.
My actions. I can say anything and everything under the sun to make my husband feel more loved and appreciated, but if I don't do what he needs me to do, there is a big part missing. 1 John 3:18 says " ..let us not merely say that we love one another; let us show the truth by our actions". Show the truth by our actions. Meaning, let's back up how much we love/appreciate/support/etc. by showing him. My husband appreciates when I keep the house clean and when I do the home chores without complaining. Big one here! Like I said before, not complaining is a big thing and one he will notice. Whether it's dressing up more, packing his lunch in the morning, or giving him a bit more cookie at the end of the day, figure out what actions he wants more from you and do them, with love. They could be little or they could be big. They could seem trivial or "why is that a big deal?" but they are important to him, so they should be important to me. Also, if your having a hard time with something just ask him! Have him explain why those actions are important to him. That will let us understand our husbands a little more and help us to want to do such actions a little more.
I asked my husband what are ways I could love him, support, and encourage him better. We talked about it and it gave him a chance to tell me what I'm doing well as a wife and how I can be a bit better. It felt so good to pause and talk about this. Something I don't think we've talked about in great detail since before we got married.
I am an imperfect person, trying to love another imperfect person. I'm going to stumble, I'm going to fail, [we are both going to stumble] but that's the beauty of a marriage. We have to help each other out and we have time to figure it out. Marriage to us is definitely a two way street. I can't just be a better wife and him not try at all. We work on things together by talking and praying. But right now I think it's my turn to do a little more; be a little better and see where and how I can love him more.
xo // leah
Photos by Pamela Montanez
