5-7-16
last bump pic 39 wks 4 days
It all began on Monday April 18th. I woke up feeling a little weird. A little more tired than I had been and just a bit off, not queasy but with a slightly unsettled stomach. I rested that day and my mom and I went and did some errands. I noticed mid morning that I was starting to feel some cramps. Cramps that felt like my period was coming. Low in my abdomen and circling around my lower back. I tried to ignore them but the excitement of what if these are early contractions was too strong so I tried to pay attention to their patterns. They were random but were happening every 20-30 minutes. I tried not to get too excited but couldn't stop thinking about them. I went about my day, did some little cleaning and made dinner.
That night we had a bible study we went to and throughout the time I noticed the cramps were getting a little closer together. They were uncomfortable but nothing I couldn't ignore and talk through. Just there and noticeable. My friend just had a baby and gave me some castor oil before we left for home. I've heard lots of old wives tales about castor oil and how it can be used to jumpstart labor. I was ready for him to come and overly excited that these cramps were the beginnings of labor contractions. When we got home I decided to take 2T of the oil and just see what happened. We went to bed around 930 and by 1030 I noticed the cramps were definitely more intense. They woke me up. I tried laying down through them but just couldn't. I got out of bed, walked around, watched tv, and timed them on an app I had on my phone. 8-9 minutes apart, then 5-7, then 4-5 consistently. By 330 I called the midwife and talked it out a little with her. She said to wait until they were 2-3 minutes apart for an hour and then come in. After about 2 more hours they were consistently 3 minutes apart. I texted my sister who was to drive down from Seattle, and told her that I think this is the real deal. I woke Cory up around 630 and told him that I had been up all night with what I thought were contractions and that we should go to the hospital.
When we got there they hooked me up to the monitor to see if the contractions were real. They were and checked me - I was about 2cm dilated and 80% effaced. After about 9 hrs of what I thought were contractions I was a little disappointed to know I was only a 2. The midwife suggested I walk around and get in the jacuzzi tub and they'll check me again after an hour or so. After two hour I had managed to dilate to a big old 3. The nurse said it was a generous 3. The decision was made that I go home and walk around, try to rest and see if things pick up. The nurse was confident she'd see us back that night.
Once we were home everything stopped. Like no more contractions all afternoon. I tried laying down and sleeping but just couldn't. My mom and sister were at the house and cleaned up a bit, made us dinner and we sat outside to enjoy the sunshine. Around 6pm I felt a cramp again but nothing to make me too excited. We went to bed as normal. Then at 1am it hit me. I thought the contractions I was having the night before hurt but these! ouch! I had to take showers that early morning, wake up Cory and have him apply some counter pressure to my lower back. It felt as though someone had a really thick rope tied around my lower abdomen and back and was just squeezing it tighter and tighter. I had to use the heat pack and sit up against the wall. I needed Cory to put a lot pressure on my back when I was having the contractions. By 6am I felt like this really had to be it. The day before the nurse asked me if i had to breathe through the contraction, and of course I said yes. They were painful. But looking at the above photo I laugh now. I was not in pain on Tuesday, just uncomfortable. The pain I was feeling Wednesday morning was way worse.
When we checked in I was feeling pretty exhausted. Mostly because of the fact I was up the previous night for so long thinking I was having contractions. By this point I hadn't slept more than 3 hours since sunday night. When we walked into the L&D floor I saw one of my good friends who happened to be working that day as an aid. I immediately started crying as we hugged. I felt excited, relieved she was there, a little scared, and anxious to know if the work I had been doing overnight was actually doing anything to open my body. They got us into the room, did the NST which showed I was having pretty intense contractions and then checked me. 5cm and 100% effaced. The nurse that morning was so nice and bubbly. She looked at me and said well today you are having a baby! I remember thinking, thank goodness!
I quickly wanted to be in the tub so as soon as it was ready we headed down there. I think I got into it around 8:30. My mom and sister showed up soon afterwards and helped me labor for while in the tub. During that time Cory's mom came and got food for him. I wasn't too hungry but did want something. I drank a few orange juices and ate one pretzel at a time. The contractions at this point were making me a bit nauseous so I didn't want to eat too much. By 12:00 I felt like progress had to have been made. At this point, still in the tub, I couldn't really think of doing anything else. Everytime I had to pee seemed like a chore. I was more afraid to pee than for the next wave of contraction to come. For some reason being on the toilet was so uncomfortable. My sister actually laid towels on the ground and helped me pee in a frog position. I don't know why but it felt so much easier that way! I was told birth was primal and crazy and you can get very animalistic. And at this point I was realizing how primal it could get.
By around 12:30 I wanted the midwife to check me. I was a little nervous but more anxious to know if things were progressing. I was tired, ready for the next stage. I felt I had been doing this for hours. By this time I was having a harder time keeping my eyes open. I would have a wave of 3 contractions right in a row, pretty intense, and then one that was like 5-6 minutes apart. During that long break I fell asleep a couple of times. The midwife agreed to check me and I was at a 6. A 6! That's it?! It was hard not to feel defeated. It felt like it was taking forever. And at this point I had been in labor for 12 hours. I thought we'd be at the pushing phase by now. It was at this point that my midwife discussed with us the possibility of breaking my water. I was nervous to do that. I wanted my body to do things naturally. But at this point I was more desperate to have things pick up. She said the worst case scenario would be that it did absolutely nothing. I thought we had nothing to lose so we let her do it.
We went back into a different room for her to break my water. And when she did it didn't even gush out. I remember feeling nothing different. No gushes of warm water like you always read about. I spent the next 30 minutes on the NST just to make sure he was doing okay. Then went in the shower for a bit and then back to the tub. Looking back on it, I should have walked the halls for bit. I was in the water for so long and I think it may have contributed to why things were taking so long. We won't know for sure, but I have this feeling it would of sped things up if I changed my position for a while. However, at that point all I could think about was the tub so I don't know how responsive I would have been if they told me to walk.
Back in the tub I went for another 3 hours until I felt that first urge to push at 3:30. My midwife said I'd just know when it was time. I didn't really understand that but after the first feeling I totally did. It was an overwhelming pressure down below and my body just naturally tensed up and pushed. At that point my midwife said they were having some troubles with the actual birthing tub (the one I was in was just for laboring) I told her no way, you better get that thing fixed because I'm not having this baby on a bed! After an hour or so they got it to work and into the birthing tub I went. The tub was a little too hot for baby, totally comfortable for me but more hot tub status temperature. I remember feeling really good at first and then really hot.
From this time on I don't think I opened my eyes more than ten times. My mom and sister and Cory were getting cold wash cloths for me to hold onto. I remember I really wanted to hold on to them and hated when I was missing one from my hands. I kept getting the urges to push and did so when I felt them. Around 5 I had the midwife check me again because I was getting frustrated that it didn't feel that he was actually coming. I started doubting that he would actually fit. I know I asked her that several times. It turned out I had a cervical lip but was dilated to a 9. Getting rid of that last little bit took forever. At least that's what it felt. My midwife had to end up helping me get rid of it with a few contractions. After an hour of contracting on my stomach I really felt the urge to push. I believe she checked me again and told me I was complete. She said "okay you can really start pushing now". I remember thinking at this time how annoying that was. I have been pushing! For what I thought was 2 hours. Nope, she said. Those weren't real pushes. For the next 3 1/2 hours I pushed with the guidance of my midwife and the physical help of Cory and my sister.
I was so tired. When I had to push I remember my whole body would tense up. Almost like it was seizing. I pushed 4 times with each contractions and each push was stronger then the next. I definitely needed the guidance and encouragement of my midwife and Cory. I remember pushing so hard I stated "I think my head is going to explode!". My midwife said that I wasn't pushing right then; to put all that force where the baby was coming out. Once she said that it really made sense. I thought I was pushing but really wasn't.
Then they told me his head was coming so I reached down to feel it. Wow. I will never forget that feeling on my fingertips. He had hair. And it was so incredibly soft. I don't know exactly how much longer, but about after an hour more he finally arrived. His head come out and then the midwife helped a little with his shoulders. Once his whole body was out she told me to pick up my baby.
I saw his body, which looked huge at the moment, and lifted him out of the water. It was the perfect moment. The moment I had dreamed so much for. All that hard work finally paid off. He fit. He was here. I was holding my son! The first thing I said was hello buddy! I spent just a few moments looking him over, feeling and admiring him and his umbilical cord. This little guy just came from me! It was surreal. My mom and sister were crying a bit, Cory and I just looked at each other in amazement. Cory was able to cut the cord and then I handed Lewis to him. He wrapped him in a blanket and put a hat on his little head.
I got out of the tub to deliver the placenta and get sewn up a bit (I ended up having a shallow 2nd degree tear). It was quite amazing how once he was in my arms all the pain stopped. I felt nothing but tired and happy. Oh and hungry. The nurses made me a sandwich right away and I scarfed it down as we made our way back to our room. Once there we settled in a bit, family said their goodnights, and the nurses weighed him and swaddled him for us. I ate another sandwich, did my best to nurse him a little, and then we all fell asleep.
Looking back on Lewis' birth day I'm so proud of him, myself, and Cory. We did what I wanted to do. I knew I could going into it but the doubts sure came when I was in the thick of things. Our bodies are amazing and made to bring life into this world. I'm beyond thankful I had this experience and praying I get to do it again with another child of ours. Thankful also for my amazing husband. Despite hating not being able to do anything to help me, he stayed by my side the whole time. My mother, sister, and mother-in-law were also so invaluable during my labor. His birth day was definitely a family affair.
April 20th 2016, the day I became a mom. Thank you Lewis.
xo mom
