Baby Boy

12/15/15

My dear baby boy,

How exciting it is to be that much closer to finding out who you are. Right now I know you are my son. I love saying that. I think I've said it out loud a hundred times since we learned you are a little boy. My son. My little baby boy. Oh my heart just overflows thinking of you and knowing that you are ours. 

" Take my hand, I'll teach you the Way to go. Through the joys, through the tears, the journey of the years…may you trust Him in the end. He is faithful til the end".  I pray you learn to love yourself; to love others like Jesus loves. I hope I can show you what that love looks like and how to extend it to everyone. I want you to always know how loved you are. Every part of your being is so very much cherished. I'll learn how to love you better each day we have together. 

"May His light fill all you are; and the jewel of wisdom crown your heart… May my mistakes not hinder you; but His grace take hold and guide you through. He will keep you till the end." Motherhood is exciting to me dear one. My whole being is looking forward to loving you, teaching you, and helping you find your way in this world. It's scary too because I've never done this. But I'll figure it out. Your dad and I will make mistakes. But we'll all learn. We'll learn even more how much we need our Lord and how always we'll rely on Him. 

One day you'll be grown, moving mountains, being a husband and father of your own; changing this world. But for now you are my baby boy. Now that I know you are my son I am so anxious to meet you. See your face and hold your hands tight in mine. But all I want right now is for you to grow. Grow strong and big; grow, grow, grow! For we'll meet soon enough. 

I love you my son. 

xo mom

Gender Reveal party

12/13/15

We had our gender reveal party this last weekend for little baby Hartmann. After the ultrasound appointment we drove to our friends Ben and Shelby's and dropped of the very sealed envelope with the results. It was really hard not to peak during the ultrasound but once we were home and headed to our friends it got easier. Once we had the envelope out of our hands it was a relief! No more urges to peak. 

We had everyone wear pink or blue in honor of their guesses. Our family and friends gather around, we ate some home-made pizza (thanks to my dad!) and salads and then couldn't wait any longer. Everyone placed their votes and gathered around the cake. The votes were in and the odds were in favor of a girl! 

Boy or Girl …..  ? ! ? !

It's a ……. 

BOYYYYYY!!!!!! 

We were seriously so excited and a little relieved! We were talking and planning as if this little one was going to be a boy and it would have a little shocking if the cake was pink inside. Of course we would be thrilled if we were having a daughter or a son, it was just really fun that our gut-feelings were right! 

Oh son! We can't wait to meet you!

xo /  leah 

Tree Hunting + the series of unfortunate events

December 4th, 2015

We got our tree last weekend and it was such a great day! The weather was really perfect and the girls just loved running around the tree farm.  We wanted to get a tree that was short and fat this year. Last year we got a "Charlie Brown" tree so this year it was the fat one. We thought we chose the perfect one, one we thought would fit the corner in our living room perfectly. Let's just say we got the height right this time, but it's way to wide for the space! We laugh at it every time we see it. Just too fat!

The day was pretty perfect up till the last 10 minutes. To start with the series of unfortunate events we have to go back to Thanksgiving day. 

Cory and I made the turkey and stuffing this year using this recipe. It turned out really awesome! Probably the best turkey I've had and I'm really trying not to be biased there ;) I ended up burning my hand pretty bad though in the process. Don't touch a pan handle right after it's been in the oven… duh! 

Going back to our tree hunt, Gretta got attacked by another dog that was there. While I was trying to "save" her she accidentally took out my legs and I had a pretty nasty fall. I couldn't walk for a whole day and it's still taking some time for my knees to feel better. She walked away just fine but I was pretty banged up. 

At work this week while helping a rather large client into a recliner I got one of my fingers smashed in the recliner. So now I've got some scars from the turkey, a limpy gait, and some pretty bruised fingers. I hope this is the end of these not so pleasant events. 

In other more wonderful news, we hit 20-weeks growing this little one!! My belly is officially bigger and here to stay for a while. Cory mentioned the other night "well I guess you really are pregnant! Can't deny that now!". We can't believe we are already half way there to meeting this little one. 

Hope everyone is enjoying getting into the Christmas mood! Get those trees, be safe, and enjoy!

xo / leah

Boy or Girl?

November 10th, 2015

In less than a month we will find out if we are expecting a daughter or a son. I thought I could wait to find out on his/her birth-day, but now that we have the Ultrasound scheduled the anticipation is really building. I can't even imagine what that moment is going to feel like. Pure excitement and pure fear! Life with boys or a teenage girl!

Cory and I neither have a preference of what "we want". I think it's a good thing, because then we won't be disappointed. I've read too many times of parents being disappointed the rest of their pregnancy because who they were growing wasn't who they "wanted" them to be. I can't even imagine that. This little babe was prayed for SO much and having a healthy little boy or girl is all that matters to us.

I thought it would be fun to do some of the Old Wives tales to predict what we will be having.

1. If you are carrying high it's a boy.  I'm carrying lower = GIRL

2. Heart rate is below 140 means a boy. Our little peanut has been 155-170, GIRL

3. If you are craving salty foods, boy. I've been craving all things sweet, GIRL

4. More morning sickness = Girl. I've had not so much, BOY

5. No breakouts, Boy.  I've had some, GIRL.

6. The Chinese Gender Predictor says GIRL

7. If the year I got pregnant and my age were both odd = GIRL

As you can see it's 6-1 in favor of Girl. As far as my family guesses are, 4-1 vote Girl.

We will soon find out!!

can't wait to meet you little one!

The weirdest pregnancy symptom thus far

November 3 2015

They all warn you about the nausea, the fatigue, swollen feet and hands, but there are some really crazy and weird pregnancy symptoms that happen to some woman. My mom, for example, when she was pregnant noticed she never had to shave her legs. The hair just stopped growing. And even to this day that woman rarely has to shave her legs. I'd say that's a pretty sweet symptom. Some other woman I know notice their hair just falls out. That wouldn't be as nice. 

The weirdest "symptom" I have experienced is a really sore tailbone. Like sore! I can't seem to lay on my back when sleeping because it gets that uncomfortable. The theories out there say it's a combination of reasons. One being the pressure of the baby is building and the uterus sits right in from of the tailbone thus causing more pressure and pain. The second thought is that the body is continually releasing a hormone called relaxin. This hormone helps to relax, in essence, the ligaments surrounding the muscles of the pelvic floor. This could allow the coccyx to shift a little more causing that pain I'm feeling. 

I'm sure many can chalk up a hundred "symptoms" to pregnancy. But it's hard not to blame the baby for what's going on. Never have I felt this strong of a pain down on my tailbone. It's weird to say the least but comforting to know that others have felt it too. 

I'm definitely rolling with the punches here. I'm truly grateful for this experience. Weird or not, it's a pretty neat thing watching this baby grow and feeling what I have been. Grow baby grow, and bring on the pregnancy symptoms! 

xo / leah

So it has begun!

November 2nd

I absolutely love Christmas decor! Just something about the colors and the textures; it all brings me back to the magical wonder of Christmas time. And for me, November 1st is the perfect day to start the decorating!

I purged all things Halloween and threw out all my pumpkins to make way for my little trees and tiny reindeer. I'm sorry but the sooner we can start decorating the longer the season will be with us and the more we get to enjoy. 

I'm really excited that this will be the last Christmas just us two. There is so much magic and wonder surrounding Christmas time, Jesus's birth, and everything that's holiday cheer. I'm very much looking forward to continuing out traditions with our little one, making new ones, and really relishing in all the magic that surrounds this season. 

Happy Holidays!  / leah

Road to Baby: First Trimester

Today is the last day of the first trimester. We pray every night and thank the Lord that we are here. Everyday is a miracle and a day to celebrate. We saw our little one again on the ultrasound (we were just going to have a doppler check the heart rate but they couldn't hear anything - scariest moment ever - the ultrasound found him though) and I couldn't help but just start crying. Happy tears. So many happy tears. He is looking more and more like a little person and I can't believe how much has already developed in his little body. 

Every week we look at the progress of whats happening in baby's body and mine. I can't stop saying how much of a miracle this is. It's amazing and completely unbelievable what needs to happen for this little one to grow and be. 

I've had the joy of having a very manageable first trimester. Morning sickness happens and started pretty early on. The first day I felt "sick" was at work. I had made ramen the night before and ate a good amount of it. The next day I just felt weird. I couldn't think of eating any more soup and all I craved were sweet things. I drank 3 cranberry juices from the patient's fridge and ate all the fruit I had. On the way home I had to stop and get some strawberries, whipped cream, and shortcake. I ate almost the whole thing. I realized if I was pregnant it would be late enough for a test to come back positive. While I was buying all those sweets I bought a home pregnancy test. The next day, + . I crawled back to bed and told Cory we're pregnant. Over the next week I noticed my "sugar cravings" were actually aversions to a lot of food. The nausea started and came and went throughout the day. Not just in the morning, but in the evening as well.  This first few weeks I ate a lot of fruit, bagels, and lasagna. Pretty much all of that on repeat. Around week 10 I noticed the aversions slowly were going away and I was able to open up my diet a little more. I gave myself grace and tried eating something good (fruit and vegetable) at least once a day. I never actually threw up and only lost 5 lbs during this trimester. 

Besides the nausea/food aversions the fatigue was real. People tell you it comes but I didn't expect to the extent it hit me. Everyday I was off I would take at least a two hour nap. Not like me at all. I realized my body was going through a big change and I took a lot of breaks and slowed my pace. Overall though, this first trimester has been wonderful. The first times we saw him on the ultrasound; the talks on names; designing and starting to renovate the nursery; these firsts have been so incredibly special. 

I  want to make sure I can look back at this pregnancy and remember how I looked and felt. I want this time to be remembered because it is so very much cherished right now. 

My must have/tips for the first trimester: 

1. A good water bottle / tea you like: keeping hydrated can be a challenge in the first few months. I made sure to get in my fluids in more creative ways. Drinking water extra cold or really warm helped. Drinking tea helped as well. Just make sure those teas are pregnancy safe. 

2. Jolly Ranchers / the nausea will hit you at the most inconvenient times. Driving home I would start getting nauseous and would pop in a jolly rancher. Having something to suck on relieved a lot of that nausea until you can eat. 

3. Eat frequently but not a lot / I noticed that having an empty stomach triggered a lot of the nausea. Eat small things until you feel that nausea subside a little and stop. Being too full is incredibly uncomfortable. 

4. Sleep when you can / just lay down and see if your body falls asleep. If you do, you'll be happy you slowed down and let your body do what it needed to. 

5. Be joyful / there is no reason to let the worry feelings overtake you. Tell your friends and family, celebrate and be happy. This time is supposed to be joyful and don't let any negative thoughts consume you. 

Very thankful for this pregnancy. This time is magical and should only be celebrated. Looking forward to the next few months. 

xo / leah

Oh Baby!

The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy!

Psalms 126:3

The Lord has blessed us richly! As of today I am 9 weeks and 3 days along with our little "Chip".  Joy oh joy! We are both beyond excited and can't help but say thank you at least one hundred times a day for this blessing. 

We had our first ultrasound and it felt as though the world had stopped. We saw his little heart beat and his wiggly body and everything felt right in the world. We are praying that this little bean grows and grows and everything is healthy. 

We have a lot to do and think about before this little one arrives but for now we are just relishing in the moment and thanking the Lord for this experience. 

We won't find out the sex until mid December, but we are calling this little one "Chip" for now. When we first found out I was pregnant the baby was the size of a chocolate chip and the nickname just seemed perfect. If he is a little she though we'll have to think of a new one :) 

This has definitely been a journey for us but the timing right now is absolutely perfect. The Lord knows and everything is in His hands. And I cannot be more reassured by that. 

xo // leah

Happy Anniversary

On September 1st we celebrated three years of blissful marriage. As the saying goes, time flies when you're having fun. And it really does! These last three years have definitely seen a lot of change. Our first apartment where we lived together for the first time, a home buying experience, a home renovating experience, two puppies, and two out of the country adventures. These years have really been fun. Of course we've had our little arguments but nothing big. It is by the grace of God that we've had such a full and happy three years. And as Cory said, the honeymoon ain't over yet! 

We celebrated this anniversary by meeting at the place we had our first date, Noodles and Company. The food was ok but it was really just about recreating that first date and looking back on all that we've accomplished as a team. It was simple and it was perfect. We talked a lot about how we've had such great years, what each other has done really well in our marriage, and what we want for this next year. 

Thinking back, here are a few moments from that special day we became one. 

9.1.12

To many more laughs and adventures; to riding the waves that life brings us; and to being together for the whole thing! 

xo / leah

Marriage: What Works

As we are soon approaching the end of our 3rd year of marriage I couldn't help but think of these last few years. Cory and I can both say we've found a really good flow of our marriage. Despite all the comments of well-meaning friends and family, the first few years haven't been that tough. Yes we've had our moments but overall its been fun and rather easy. Every marriage is different and there will always be some advice on how to have a successful marriage, but it's been really nice to take that advice and use it how we see fit. These are a few things that have worked for us these last three years and I want to continue doing them throughout our marriage.

Laugh often Honestly not a day goes by that we aren't laughing about something. Either one of us has done or said something, our dogs have done something, or we've chosen to watch some pretty comical entertainment. Whatever it is we laugh often. We are able to laugh at ourselves and fill our conversations and what we watch with light-hearted topics. Being able to not take life, situations, or ourselves too seriously has been really helpful at making these first few years fun and not too stressful.

Intentionally listen  At our pre-marital counseling we did exercises that made you practice this idea. "I hear you saying ___ and I hear that it makes you feel ___". As silly as it felt constantly saying that phrase, man does it really help. It helps to make sure you are understanding exactly what your spouse is saying, what they are feeling, and what might be their biggest qualm with whatever is happening. My husband is a firm believer that how you say something is more effective than what you are actually saying. Many a times he thought I felt/meant something just by listening to my tone. When in reality what I was saying was all I felt and needed him to understand. It's been a great tool to use this little phrase during those heated arguments or times when we felt like we really weren't making headway with a discussion.

Community  We both come from somewhat small friends group. Before we were married we each had just a hand few of close friends that we saw often. When we were married we realized that it was important for us to start making some new friends, new to the both of us and friends that were married. I had my girlfriend and he had his guy friends, but we knew we needed some married friends to go along with us during this ride of marriage. We met a few new couple friends from work and through church and the community we have now is such a strong one. It's been really helpful to start new relationships. Friends that are ours and friends we could talk to about the ups and downs we were experiencing in marriage.

Marriage is a lot of fun. It takes work, constant work. Keep love flowing, keep it fun, and have those friends around you to support you both. Very excited that I married the man I did. We have had some great years and I just feel proud as we round out the last of our third year.

xo // leah

DIY: Home-made Deodorant

As I mentioned earlier this week, I've been trying to use more natural and organic products around the house and for my body. I found some great recipes for all-purpose cleaners and some pretty darn good shampoos that work really well. When I heard about the idea of home-made deodorant I immediately checked it off my list. I'm not someone who naturally smells amazing and never sweats. Full disclosure I sweat a lot. At work we have this running joke to see who can "pit out", as well call it, first. It's a good thing I work with some amazing people who have pretty good sense of humors, but it's still a little embarrassing to win this. I work as a nurse for 12.5 hours a day, walking on average 6 miles and to say I work up a sweat is an accurate statement. I digress. Point being I need a deodorant that is going to work. 

However, when I found this recipe I thought I'd give it a try. It sounded easy enough with a short list of ingredients that I actually heard of and had on hand. I figured I might as well not pass this up so fast. And the fact that I've been needing to reapply at work was getting a little old.  So I gave it try. 

And...

It. Works. 

Like actually works. It smells amazing which then in turn makes me smell amazing. Keeps me cool. And I don't have to reapply during my day. Natural and works, win-win! 

For all you who have been trying to go the natural more organic route, I'd definitely recommend this. 

Head on over to Abi's Blog to get the full how-to. 

xo // leah

About Me

Hi, my name is Leah.

This is my little family.

These are few things to get to know us...

-We live in Portland, Oregon. Definitely my favorite place on Earth. The PNW has so much to offer in beauty and I'm so happy we have roots here.

-I love Jesus and love people.

-My love of people is probably what brought me into the world of Nursing. I work as an RN on a Medical-Surgical floor.

-I used to have an addiction to cheese. We are still friends but I keep it in moderation. I like to say I try to eat whole, but it's more like whole [pizzas].

-I am a Twin and it's pretty much the best thing ever.

-I used to dance ballet all through high school and then in college I was on the Dance Team for a couple of years. I love dancing and it's not uncommon to find me dancing around my house.

-I absolutely adore all flowers. Not biased to any type. I always wanted to own my own Floral shop and name it Flowers by Frances (my middle name).

- I am somewhat type A and have a knack for redecorating and reorganizing our house just about every season.

-I can count to ten in 4 different languages.

-My husband and I married just 16 months after our first date.

- As a kid my nickname was Peanut and my husbands was Bean, hence how this blog got its name.

Thanks for sharing along in our little adventures!

xo // leah

Photos above by Pamela Montanez

Road To Baby: What to do while you wait

Our Baby hasn't come yet. And quite honestly the waiting period has been around 12 months long. Probably exactly 12 months longer than I was expecting. I didn't plan to wait and with that unplanningness (if that's a word) my patience was nil. So what do you do when you are waiting? I've learned a few things and would love to share them. 

Pray  When the daydreams come and you get lost for those few minutes of what the kitchen will look like with little sticky fingers to help you … but then remember you aren't pregnant … you stop. You pray. My faith has been such an integral part of this time for me. And prayer has helped bolster my faith that I will have healthy pregnancies that will give me healthy children. It has also provided me with the joy I've needed during this time of waiting. I pray. And pray and pray. Talking to my Savior about my hopes, fears, and desires surrounding parenthood. Praying helps to relieve the burden that all of this is not on my shoulders. And that my baby will come at the right time, and for reasons unknown to me right now is just not that time.

Focus on your Body  For about the last 6 months I've taken my health and wellness very seriously. Not that I didn't before, but I took a much deeper look at what I was eating, using, and doing to my body that may not be so healthy. Changed my eating habits using the whole 30 program, I learned what foods really fuel me and help to make me feel good. I started using more natural products such as my beauty products (different shampoos and home-made deodorant - recipe coming soon!) and our cleaning products. I am exercising more in ways that are fun and fit my needs. Walking more, slowing down our life a little, and finding time to just sit and breathe, all things that help to support a more whole me. 

Surround yourself with your tribe  Spend time with the people who energize you. The people who will make you laugh, understand when you just need a day to cry or just be still together. The people you surround yourself with will make a big difference. Make plans with these people. Do the things you like with them, dinner dates, Saturday outings, spa nights with your girls, whatever you do spend time with these people. Let your tribe be present with you, waiting with you during this time. 

Get away  One of the big issues for us during this time was what to do for vacation. Or rather, do we even go on a vacation. You want to save your money, save your vacation time, whatever it is for your maternity leave or first few weeks with baby. But you also need to get away. Plan little day trips - small weekend getaways to get you out of the house. Get you out the norm a little and break up the weeks. Little getaways even for the day or for a week are extremely refreshing for the soul. Spending time doing absolutely nothing away from your home or something totally out of your comfort zone are both amazing ways to help you during this time of waiting. Loosely plan that cruise or that trip to Mexico, knowing that either way it'll be a win-win. You'll either have to cancel because the greatest gift has finally arrived or you'll have a pretty amazing trip to go on. Either way it'll be great.  

Waiting is hard. No matter what the event it is you are waiting for make the most of this time. We get the time to grow our faith, strengthen our relationships and build up our tribe; we get the time to give our bodies love and become the healthiest versions of us so we can become the healthiest moms we can be. Be still. Quiet your mind. Find and do the small and big things that give you joy. And get away from it all every now and then. 

Wait patiently because baby will come. But make sure to love yourself in the meantime. 

xo // leah

We Have Figs That We Don't Like

I don't know if it's the fact that I never grew up eating figs and now I don't have the palette for them, or the fact that they look like little alien eggs when you open them up..but I just don't like figs. The good thing is that we have plenty of friends that love these little fruits. 

Aside from us, our little pups absolutely love these things. Not a day goes by that I don't catch these two out by our fig tree, either eating the figs that have fallen or jumping to get the ones they can reach. Even though we don't like them I thought it would be fun to round up a few yummy sounding fig recipes as well as some non-traditional ways to use figs. 

Fig & Raspberry Cake

The Flying Fig Cocktail

Fig & Goat Cheese Gallette

4-Way Fig Jam

Figs in Bouquets, see here & here

I'm a sucker for food and pretty bouquets, so maybe I'll learn to love these little weird looking fruits. But in the meantime, who wants some?

xo // leah

{thank you for the photos Pamela}

Weekend: Beach Trip

We finally made it to our favorite place, Tolovana Beach. A dog friendly beach, a green space with picnic tables and a swing set, and the ability to have bonfires! Hence why it's our favorite. We decided to chase the sun to see some awesome views and get some sand in our toes. 

The views were unmatched and I think it's safe to say we all had a good time. We left after dinner but after the drive we were somewhat hungry so we found the perfect little pizza joint, Pizza a fetta, for a slice of really good pizza. It was nice having a slice as we walked down to the water. 

This was our first trip of the summer but we'll be back. Our annual October Beach trip is coming up so we'll be back soon. 

xo / leah

Talking Buns: 5 Things

This weekend was really great. My friend Pam was in town and, as usual, she brought her camera and snapped some pictures. She took some of me, my little family, and of the place we call home. We were able to have some much needed one on one catching up time (as she just moved to Missouri!), we spent some time with friends, and I was able to get some rest and have a little me-time. There were some really great things that stuck with me this weekend and I thought I couldn't help but share 5 of them (they are a little random so bare with me).

1. See yourself as others see you

I love when Pam takes photos of my family. She has a way of capturing not just moments, but emotions. Whenever I see the photos of myself I always comment, "Pam you make me look so pretty!". And her response is always "you are pretty, that's how I always see you.".  She has said this comment before but I've always brushed it off. This time I actually took it to heart. Lately I think my eyes and ears have been a little more open and receptive to what has been around me. Novel thought, what if we actually took to heart all the compliments that people told us about ourselves? How pretty we are, how smart we are; how wonderful we raise our children, how well we do at keeping a calm home. The list goes on. How wonderful it would be to grow our self love and self worth if we listened to the positives and believed them ourselves. I'm going to try to do this more often. How about trying it as well?

2. Share your feelings with those who have similar experiences

Over the past few weeks after our recent loss it's been paramount for me to be able to talk. Share to my spouse how I'm feeling, as those emotions come up. Every day is different, my mood changes and different things trigger that. Sharing how I'm feeling with Cory has been so important. But there was that missing piece that he just couldn't relate to. The longing to be a mom and the feelings you get when your body just says no. I connected with a friend who had a miscarriage recently. Freeing. How freeing it was to share exactly how I was feeling with some other woman who has felt the same way. My feelings were validated and I feel like I've finally had some closure with the situation. Everyone is different and has their preferences with how they grieve, however, I truly believe there is something powerful in talking things through. And a good cry at that as well.

3. Alone time is rejuvenating

Don't schedule a thing. For a whole day. Absolutely nothing. When we have time to just breath in silence, to not have to leave the house for anything, we get recharged. Make that fancy grocery list and rewrite it twice if you want just to make it look pretty, go for a walk at that very second you decide you want to; you want new flowers in the house, go get a few bunches. Do want you want, not what you need to do. Give your time to just be. Take some calming breaths and re-center yourself. Give yourself time. Whatever that may look like. Time to think, breath, stretch, eat healthy, refocus your goals. Be alone with yourself for a little bit. Oh the things it can do for you.

4. Shopping is always therapeutic

If you are in Portland there is a cute little store I just discovered. Porch Light It's this cute little Anthro-inspired store that sells a variety of feel good things. See candles, succulents, and beautiful jewelry. It's been on my check-out list for a while and I finally was able to pop in.

5. Eating clean is good all around

I decided to start another round of whole 30. I was feeling a little disconnected from my eating habits and from my body lately. And what better way then to do a little reboot. The whole 30 program is really great and I definitely swear by the fact that I do feel better when I eat this way. I'm ready to reconnect with my body and the foods I'm eating. Ready to get back into a healthy routine of eating habits before the summer ends.

Thanks for listening to all that randomness! I dare you to give yourself some alone time if you are feeling like you need a recharge. Laugh and love yourself.

xo / leah